Gail’s first job taught her what a toxic culture feels like – and why silence from the top makes it worse. Here’s what it showed her about leadership, culture, and facing the ‘Mokitas’ in your organisation.
Long before I knew anything about leadership development or workplace culture, I got my first taste of how powerful – and damaging – culture can be.
After a series of part-time, weekend and holiday jobs, this was my first “proper” job, working as a travel consultant in a travel agency. On paper, it should have been great. I loved the job, and my direct manager was supportive. But one of the owners of the business? Let’s just say she was… “interesting.”
She was moody, rude, and made everyone feel on edge. I was actually scared to go down to the basement for lunch, not because of the basement, but because you had to pass her on the way down there. She made comments about you while you were in the room. Embarrassing ones. Personal ones. Comments on how you looked, what you wore, how long your lunch break was, and who you were talking to. Nothing escaped her attention.
Sometimes she said something nice, but more often her words were like tiny daggers. After a while, I started avoiding the basement on the days she was in.
Everyone talked about it. Everyone knew. Even the senior people. But no one did anything. We were expected to just put up with it. It was my first real encounter with a toxic culture, and I couldn’t wait to leave.
Looking back now, with the benefit of experience and years of working with leaders and teams, I can see how much damage that silence caused … what a negative impact it had on everyone who was in her sphere.
If You Know It’s Toxic, Why Don’t You Act?
One of the most surprising things we hear from senior leaders in organisations with cultural issues is this: “We all knew it was a problem. We just didn’t know how bad it felt to those in the firing line.”
Leaders, you are responsible for how your culture feels to others. Conditioning team members by supporting the belief “that’s just how it is” is not acceptable.
That’s why our upcoming webinar on workplace culture focuses on the root cause of so many performance, engagement and retention problems: culture that’s silently toxic. The kind that flies under the radar until people burn out, check out, or walk out.
Culture isn’t just created by policies, values statements or engagement scores. It’s created – and sustained – by behaviour. Especially the behaviour that goes unchallenged.
As a junior in that agency, at the time I certainly didn’t feel I had the words, the power or the safety to challenge the situation. And the people who did have the power? They looked the other way. Whether it was denial, discomfort, or just fear of rocking the boat, the result was the same: the culture suffered, and good people walked out the door.
Time to Talk About the Mokitas
In Papua New Guinea, there’s a word: Mokita. It means “the truth everyone knows, but no one speaks.” Every organisation has them. The ‘difficult but effective’ manager. The department that’s always “a bit toxic.” The behaviour that’s “just how they are.”
We don’t talk about them. We work around them. We wait for someone else to fix it.
But when you’re the one responsible for the culture, as a senior leader, silence is collusion. Your people are watching. Your silence speaks volumes.
The Culture You Tolerate is the Culture You Create
That first experience taught me something I’ll never forget: it’s not usually the work that drives people away. It’s the culture. And culture starts at the top.
Our upcoming webinar dives into why culture can quietly become the biggest performance risk in your business – and what senior leaders can do to fix it. We’ll explore what keeps toxic behaviours unchallenged, how silence becomes part of the system, and what it really takes to transform a culture from the inside out.
Because culture isn’t invisible. It’s just too often ignored.
Key Takeaways & Practical Tools
- If you’re feeling it, it’s probably real.
If something feels “off” in the environment – trust your gut. Often, junior staff can sense culture issues before senior leaders ever see them. Ask yourself: Who’s uncomfortable – and who benefits from that discomfort? - Make it psychologically safe to raise concerns.
You can’t change what no one will say out loud. Create regular, low-risk ways for people to surface issues. Try anonymous pulse surveys, skip-level check-ins, or culture retros after key projects. - Shine a light on your Mokitas.
In leadership meetings, dedicate five minutes to naming “unspoken truths” – behaviours or norms everyone knows but no one addresses. Start with your own. You’ll be surprised what surfaces once someone goes first. - Model what you want others to do.
If you want openness, be open. If you want challenge, invite it. Culture is built by the behaviours leaders tolerate and the ones they model. Choose consciously. - Don’t wait for a crisis to start changing culture.
If your workplace feels tense, gossipy, or disengaged – that’s data. Address it early. Culture doesn’t rot overnight, but when it does, it can take years to rebuild.
Join us for our free webinar, “The Invisible Epidemic: How Culture is Quietly Sabotaging Your Success,” where we uncover how culture can quietly derail your business – and what to do when the signs are hard to see but impossible to ignore.
📅 Wednesday 25th June 13:00 – 13:45
🎟️ [Register here]
